This site exists for one simple reason: ghosting is common, painful, and rarely talked about honestly.
It’s Not You, It’s Them was created as a space for people who have been left without answers in dating and relationships, and who are tired of being told to “just move on” without understanding what actually happened or how to process it.
This is not a place for quick fixes or empty reassurance. It’s a place for perspective, clarity, and language around an experience that often leaves people questioning themselves.
Where this comes from
Everything here is shaped by real experiences, personal reflection, and patterns that show up again and again in modern dating. Ghosting isn’t just about disappearing messages. It’s about avoidance, communication breakdowns, and the emotional fallout that follows.
The writing on this site is meant to help you:
- Make sense of confusing behavior
- Separate your self-worth from someone else’s silence
- Recognize patterns instead of internalizing blame
- Choose healthier standards moving forward
This is about understanding, not diagnosing. Reflection, not instruction.
What this site is, and what it isn’t
This site is:
- A supportive resource for people navigating ghosting
- A collection of insights, tools, and written guidance
- A place to feel less alone while you sort through your thoughts
This site is not:
- Therapy
- Medical or psychological advice
- A replacement for professional support
The content here is based on lived experience, observation, and shared patterns, not clinical training. If you’re struggling in ways that feel overwhelming or unmanageable, seeking support from a qualified mental health professional is always a valid and encouraged step.
Why the name matters
“It’s Not You, It’s Them” isn’t about assigning blame. It’s about putting responsibility where it belongs.
Ghosting often has far more to do with someone else’s emotional availability, communication skills, or readiness than it does with your value as a person. This site exists to remind you of that, consistently and clearly.
You don’t need to shrink yourself to be chosen.
You don’t need perfect answers to move forward.
And you don’t need someone else’s explanation to trust your own worth.